Recognizing and stopping the bullying cycle

Recognizing the Bullying Cycle

Recognizing and stopping the bullying cycle has been my passion for the last 20 years. I’ve spent that time developing materials to help young children learn how to interact with each other so bullying doesn’t happen. Bullying is such an epidemic now that we must find a way to stop it. But first we must understand the bullying cycle. Research has already established that the cycle begins with rudeness or incivility.

Witnessing Rudeness or Incivility

I’m sure you have all witnessed or experienced road rage. Or perhaps you’ve been enjoying a nice dinner in a restaurant where someone’s kids are screaming and running around while their parents are oblivious to their behavior. Or maybe you’ve been at a child’s sporting event where parents are behaving rudely, embarrassing their own kids, at a game that is supposed to be fun. In other words, we have all seen the rude behavior of others. 

Rudeness Leads to Bullying

Recognizing and stopping the bullying cycle. We may not think much of the incidents above when taken individually, but each contributes to the fact that most people [over 90%] consider rudeness a serious problem in the US. This rudeness or incivility often leads to bullying. To clarify, this underlying lack of respect and consideration for others can certainly be the catalyst for sparking the bullying. As a result, we are now seeing a problem where bullying can and does escalate into violence.

Most of recent school shootings have been carried out by kids who were bullied. After the Parkland shootings in Florida, I saw two reports relating bullying to the cause of the shootings. The first said that 2/3 of school shootings were caused by kids who had been bullied. The second stated that 75% of school shootings are perpetrated by bullied students. Moreover, I later saw a report stating that over 90% of school shootings were carried out by kids who had been bullied. Consequently, we need to be addressing the bullying to put an end to the violence.

Stopping the Bullying Cycle

We are at a crisis point now where we have to deal with ending the bullying cycle. The good news is that we can start at the beginning of the cycle, the rudeness or incivility, which is the easiest part to address. Recent research has found that social skills, or social competence training, or social-emotional learning, at young ages, are the missing link in bullying prevention. So, we need to teach, train, and implement good, old-fashioned manners; treating others kindly and with respect.

Cool Kind Kid has a Solution

In short, Cool Kind Kid has a positive, proactive solution to this epidemic. Cool Kind Kid is social skills training for young children. We proactively give kids the tools they need to learn how to make friends, and to treat peers with kindness, acceptance, compassion and caring, with respect and empathy for all.

Cool Kind Kid Activity

Here’s a fun Word Scramble you can do with your kids or students. There are 4 statements, each defining a word associated with manners or social skills. Each statement has one or two words that you can scramble. Kids have to unscramble the words to find what the definition is about.

1. If I learn MANNERS I’ll know the right things to say and do. [Scramble MANNERS]2. The GOLDEN RULE helps me learn to treat others the way I want to be treated. [Scramble GOLDEN RULE]3. I want to be POLITE and KIND so I’ll have many friends. [Scramble POLITE – KIND]4. BULLYING isn’t cool! [Scramble BULLYING]

Note: This activity is from the first lesson in our Cool Kind Kid Social Skills, Character Values, and Anti-bullying Curriculum, Elementary School Edition. We have award-winning songs that support all the lessons. Our introductory and theme song is Cool Kind Kid. 

Cool Kind Kid, Track 1, Cool Kind Kid Award-Winning CD
In conclusion, if you would like a free, downloadable copy of our bigger Word Scramble with 13 statements, let us know at:

© Barbara Gilmour





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